What would you rather be? A one-hit wonder or a has-been? They both come with pretty pathetic connotations, but there is that famous quote about "I'd rather be a has-been than a never was..."
What I am saying is, that if I had ever written even one great song, I am pretty sure that I would never stop talking about it!
Yeah, I'd be that guy that you regret sitting next to on the bus, plane, train, movie theatre, restaurant, public urinal etc.
I would have it on my resume, and my business card. People would utter a rhetorical "How are you", and I would answer, "Good. You know about my hit song, right?" And even if it was something completely inane like, 'Tutti Frutti, Shake Your Booty', I would wear it as a badge of honour, because how many people can say they had a hit song in their lifetime?So recently, while watching some VH1 or MTV special on One Hit Wonders, it dawned on me how harsh and cruel, and ignorantly judgemental society and history can be. You see, many of the bands were not actually one hit wonders. Some had one song, and some, an entire hit album with numerous hits, which for any number of reasons, was never followed up with any further success. A little unfair, wouldn't you say?
I mean, if I had written even just one full album with numerous hits.....(please see above and multiply by 10!)
Furthermore, what about the career musician or more precisely, the career artist, who never concerned themselves with commercial success, but just by producing a work of sheer quality, gained temporary fanfare before fading back into the shadows from whence they emerged. Why must we unfairly assign them the "One Hit Wonder" label?
And do you have any idea how many talented artists may have given us more if the band hadn't split up or if they were not screwed by their management, ruined by drugs or forced to go work for their cousin peddling office supplies, or dog accessories, or private-label hair products?!
Now, many among the One Hit Wonders of which we speak, are simply glorified jingles! I am talking about crappy, poppy, bubble-gum shit essentially created to entertain children and brainless twits. No powerful metaphors, or if they do exist, are hidden benath the guise of Magic Dragons or Tin Soldiers or something.
Many of them are novelty songs like;
"It was a one-eyed, one-horned, flyin' purple people eater", orand many, many more nauseating examples.
"Yummy Yummy Yummy, I've got love in my tummy", or
"She wore an itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini",
And what's worse, is when some schmuck decides 10 years later that this drivel is worthy of being re-created so that the people that were too young (or blessed) to hear it the first time, can now stick a NEW version into their mental file-o-fax!
For example, was it necessary for anyone (my apologies to the ever-lovely Kylie Minogue) to remake The @#$%^&*#@ Loco-Motion?!?!?!
And some seriously renowned rappers got together a few years back because they felt it was necessary to re-interpret the Sugarhill Gang's profound lyrics of "Hip-hop, da hibby, a-hibby dibby, hip hip hop-a-ya don't stop! Rock it out, baby bubba to the boogie de bang bang, the boogie to da boogady beat!" Ah yes, I now have a much clearer picture of what their message was!
I guess what I am getting at is that there have been so many great works of art that just so happen to be the artist's solitary commercial success, but is it fair to compare them to these mindless monstrosities?
I say "No!", but since my opinion is usually insignificant outside of my own house (and even there, it comes right after wife and dog), I decided to hold a focus group. And, by "Focus Group" I mean, my uncle, brother, and a couple of cousins as well as the homeless guy who sits outside of Hooters covered in his own previous night's vomit. The experience prompted me first and foremost to take a shower, but from there, to compile a list of good songs that just happen to be the artist's sole sensation, or in some cases, just part of their lone lucrative album.
Please feel free to let me know what you think:
Me and Mrs. Jones - Billy Paul
Drift Away - Dobie Gray
Misty Blue - Dorothy Moore
All The Young Dudes - Mott The Hoople
Mississippi Queen - Mountain
Cruel To Be Kind - Nick Lowe
How Long - Ace
Black Betty - Ram Jam
Baby Come Back - Player (What? I can have a romantic side!)
Romeo's Tune - Steve Forbert
My Sharona - The Knack
All By Myself — Eric Carmen
Lovin' You — Minnie Riperton
Far From Over - Frank Stallone (Seriously, there's something about this song that makes you want to run a triathlon!)
Get Here - Oleta Adams
Walkin'In Memphis - Marc Cohn
MacArthur Park — Richard Harris
Tubthumping - Chumbawamba
Eye of the Tiger — Survivor
Dont You Forget It - Glenn Lewis
Something In The Air - Thunderclap Newman (This could be a blog all it's own as the band was assembled by Pete Townsend to play the songs of "Speedy" Keen who was a former chauffeur, roadie, and defacto fifth member of The Who. In addition to this song, he also wrote Armenia City In The Sky for The Who, and went on to produce Tom Petty and Motorhead!)
Cool Like Dat - Diggable Planets
Cantaloop (Flip Fantasia) - US3
No Rain - Blind Melon
500 Miles - Proclaimers
More Than Words - Extreme
Let's Get Together - Youngbloods
We're Not Gonna Take It - Twisted Sister
(a member of my "focus group", who requested anonymity for obvious reasons, insisted this be here, and I do not disagree enough to argue.)
I Got A Girl - Tripping Daisy
and I will probably add many over the next little while.
To ALL artists, please just remember to go all out when you do what you do, and if you get a hit, great! If you don't, the world will never even know.
Please note that if I have in any way, spoiled my chances of one day sleeping with Kylie Minogue, I truly and sincerely beg her forgiveness! Seriously Kylie, call me.
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I love reading your posts, man! At first, I thought they were informative and interesting, but now I know you're just hilarious! Keep it up brother!
ReplyDeleteHey man,
ReplyDeleteI have a few books on the history of singles & albums (which you apparently do, too) and there
is much reference to "one hit wonders" and that sort of thing.....so it would be interesting to see & cross reference the list that your "focus group" came up....well, I actually don't have the time to check.
I recall Eric Carmen being on your list....just going on memory, I think he actually had a few hits, not just one ("All By Myself"), as both a solo artist ("Hungry Eyes" from Dirty Dancing was huge and "Never Gonna Fall IN Love Again" was pretty big) and lead singer for the Raspberries (they had big songs like "Go All The Way"). As a writer, he's also had a lot of success ("Almost Paradise" from Footloose).
There ya go.
I knew someone was going to nail me on that one. Yes, I remember Hungry Eyes from Dirty Dancing and knew he wrote other songs, which just proves my point. I found All By Muself on a One Hit Wonder website. A lot of misinformation. I would also like to add Cars by Gary Numan, but there are countless Gary Numan fans that have several albums from a 20 yr career that would say that while this was his only "Commercial" hit, he had many great successes within his genre of....to be honest, no one really knows Gary's genre, but the point is the same. Thanks for the feedback.
ReplyDeleteOH NO YOU DEH’ENT!
ReplyDeleteYou know that feeling you get when somebody is singing really badly on American Ido and you can’t change the channel fast enough because you are literally dying from embarrassment for that poor fool (people say I sound like Whitney Houston). Well, that’s how I felt when I innocently clicked on my recently added desktop shortcut to Vexed Nation and saw VANILLA ICE’S FACE STARING BACK AT ME! Nobody had to go there homie. I’d blocked that false scowl out of my mind years ago, and after already having to reblock it once for K-Fed, I’m not sure if I forgive you for bringin’ it back. All I could muster up looking at him in my cubicle was, “fool” (sorry V.I. if you read this blog from the Hip Hop Witness Protection Program)
I’m going to throw you an Amen for the Remy Shand reference. So smooth. Good tracks all the way through that Album (was there another one after that because I should really get it, great Motown sounds) If I’m not mistaken he played every instrument and wrote every track thoughout (I could have made that up ..) I’ve been waiting for that perfectly groovy love experience to attach “Everlasting” to in the movie soundtrack of my life. It goes on a long list oth theme songs, and is kept next to my “Oh my god, who knew Margo could sing so well, thank god we came to Kareoke and all the music producers are here tonight” list. (cuz you know I sound like Whitney Houston)
Now Robin Thicke, what’s your take? I recently put on a disguise and went to buy his new CD (talk about diary of a mad black woman). Verdict’s still out; I think it’ll be like a really good bad movie.
Brother, just to see the words “Me and Mrs Jones” made me happy. Songs like that you feel in your spine and I’ve been singing it for days now. Thank god TPain hasn’t butchered it yet with that Peter Frampton throw-back gadget I can’t stand; Hip Hop’s own little H1-N1 current pandemic.
And finally, don’t you even! You know you used to get down to Rapper’s Delight, we all did. Hell, I did the whop at a recent Big Daddy Kane show, I ain’t lying, it overcame me!
Fantastic, as usual. You’re officially my favourite writer.
….and there’s a focus group, that can prove, at the root, this is all nothing but cold calculations. (maybe the homeless guy is really Gord Downie just takin a break)
Wow! A blog within a blog. Only for the seriously musically informed, ladies and gentlemen, straight outta Snowdon, it's Montreal's owwwwwwwwnnnnn....Margo!
ReplyDelete