"I decline to accept the end of man. It is easy enough to say that man is immortal simply because he will endure: That when the last dingdong of doom has clanged and faded from the last worthless rock hanging tideless in the last red and dying evening, that even then there will still be one more sound: that of his puny inexhaustible voice, still talking. I refuse to accept this. I believe that man will not merely endure: he will prevail. He is immortal, not because he alone among creatures has an inexhaustible voice, but because he has a soul, a spirit capable of compassion and sacrifice and endurance. The poet's, the writer's, duty is to write about these things. It is his privilege to help man endure by lifting his heart, by reminding him of the courage and honor and hope and pride and compassion and pity and sacrifice which have been the glory of his past. The poet's voice need not merely be the record of man, it can be one of the props, the pillars to help him endure and prevail." -William Faulkner, speech at the Nobel Banquet at the City Hall in Stockholm, December 10, 1950.

So Obama was given the coveted "Nobel Peace Prize" and I write about John Lennon and Barry Manilow. Why'd I even show up to work today?

Well, I think we all had the same reaction to the news. No one was outraged like when Steve Nash won NBA MVP for the second time. Not much news about who got robbed, or how Ahmadinejad had a better video.

Everyone just seemed to ask "What for?".

What harmonious feat in the peace-perpetuating community did he accomplish? What countries in this world are currently more serene for having somehow been touched by President Obama?

Well, the answer dear friends, is truly "blowing in the wind". You see, perhaps it's not what he did, but rather what he didn't do. Not so much what he stands for, but what he stands against. (Alright, now I even forgot what I was talking about)

Perhaps the fact that he hasn't made anything worse, by default just makes him better than every other eligible candidate on the planet.

So I did some research that may help shed some light on this for all of you who like me, every other year at this time, pretty much don't care.

The prize was bequeathed by Alfred Nobel who was a famous scientist who invented...wait for it..... DYNAMITE! Hmmm....explosive news, huh?
Yes, the Peace Prize offered by the guy who invented something that blows stuff up. Awesome!

Back in the day, he was known as "Le Marchand De La Mort", the Merchant of Death (it really sounds so much more romantic in French though.)

In an attempt to leave the world a better legacy, he created the Nobel prizes.

According to his will, the "Peace" prize should be awarded "to the person who shall have done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses." His will stated that the prize should be awarded by a committee of five people elected by the Norwegian Parliament.

Well that explains it. Every time I turn around those @*#$*%!* Norwegians are screwing it up for everyone. With their cheese and their...wood, and their...accords...and stuff.

Norway and Sweden were in union at that time (1890s), and Sweden was responsible for all foreign policy. Nobel thought there might be less political corruption if it were awarded by Norway than Sweden.

The Prize is presented every year in Oslo, in the presence of the king, where the Chairman of the Norwegian Nobel Committee presents to the "Nobel Laureate" who receives a diploma (that's a definite framer), a medal (if you open the first couple of buttons on your shirt, you can wear it to the club and hear all the ladies say "Oooh, is that the Nobel Peace Prize? Sexxxy!"), not to mention a fair bit o' cash (Roughly $1.5 million U.S.).

Here's the impressive part where the music guy answers the question,
"What does any of this have to do with music?".

Well, in the words of the late great James Brown, "Watch me now?":

The Nobel Peace Prize Ceremony is held at the Oslo City Hall, followed the next day by the Nobel Peace Prize Concert, which is broadcast to more than 450 million households in over 150 countries around the world (So sayeth Wikipedia). The concert is always a huge event with massive stars (I didn't go last time because of a mix-up on the guest list but that was probably just a mistake).

This year's concert is being hosted by Hollywood super-couple Will and Jada Pinkett Smith.

Some of the artists you can expect to see are:


Wyclef Jean sans Fugees (Oh Lauryn, where you at, girlfriend?)

Toby Keith (Oops, Wyclef's audience all go to the washroom at the same time)

Donna Summer (Wyclef's audience comes back, but they bring their parents)

Luis Fonsi (Oye, donde esta Menudo? You're welcome. Now you know more about him than anyone in the room.)

Amadou & Mariam (These two are actually awesome, plus they're blind and I've got my hands full pissing off Manilow fans).

So what have we learned here, people?

That it really doesn't matter who wins or who loses, so long as someone throws a kick-ass party right afterwards! I hope Obama still knows how to get down.

Happy thanksgiving everybody!